Out of the Dungeon and into the French Revolution!

Wow...hard to believe that it's been this long since either of us have posted...

Part of the fun of being a video journalist is some of the freedoms you have and contacts you make along the way.

For instance, the Las Vegas Weekly web editor, Sarah Feldberg, contacted the Cirque Du Soleil people about creating a costume for her to wear for Halloween.

So two wardrobe people for KA at MGM agreed to go shopping at a thrift store for things to put together for a costume for her. The only catch was they could only spend $50 on the materials.

After they bought the costume, they took it back to their shop and sewed it together. Sarah then contacted the makeup supervisor for Zumanity, and got her make up and wig done.

The resulting video came from this experience, and it was really kick ass. Check it out:

http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/videos/2008/oct/30/301/

Or read Sarah's blog here:

http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/blogs/the-playground/2008/oct/30/cirque-makeover-makes-queen-revival/

-RRM

Phonetic Phun with Phantastic Phelps Phucking Phenominality

Michael Phelps last night won his 7th gold in this Olympics in the 100 Fly.

By 1/100 of a second...That's faster than Bennifer's relationship.

In fact, how does one measure, practically speaking, that Phelps TRULY won that event?

To stop the clock one must touch the wall sensor, what if one sensor is 2/100 of a second stiffer than the next?

 [note: James is NOT going to link the word "stiffer," "touch," or "sensor," use your own gutter-ridden imagination]

Think about 1/100 of a second for a second...you just did ONE-HUNDRED times.

Whatever...go US&A!

*Note #2: All phour of the men in this picture are FABULOUSLY heterosexual and LOVING it.

-JLG1th

Let's light this candle!

OK, we're ready to go! Expect posts on a semi-ANNUAL BASIS from now on!!!!! YAY!

Is James a loaf of bread?

Earlier, James and I had a conversation that went like this:

James: Hey, ask me if I'm a loaf of bread

Me: James, are you a loaf of bread?

James: No.

James is no longer signed into chat.

So, is James a loaf of bread?

Short answer? No.

Long answer? Possibly.

There has been a long line of Grahams that stem from the yeast and flour backgrounds, and has often talked about how he seems taller when it's really hot outside.

I have often seen him melt butter when he puts it on his body. No, I will not tell you why I witnessed him put butter on his body, but believe me, he does it.

Sometimes when James is near my mom, who is allergic to gluten, she automatically gets hives on her skin, and talks about how much she hates James.

James repeatedly sings the jingle to Iron Kids Bread. I-I-I-I-I-I-Iron kids bread.

James Lawrence Graham 1th has often been found near bags of bagels, french rolls, and even pita pockets.

Mr. Graham is quite often baked.

James gets really soggy when he is covered in gravy.

He grows a green fungus when he sits around for a while.

Finally, James cuts his crust off so kids will like him.

So, is James a loaf of bread?

Well, no. He is a living, breathing human with cognitive thought and I've seen him. He isn't a loaf of bread.

Welcome to pointless post day.

-RRM

Anybody out there?

We're not abandoning this blog, we're just getting our ducks in a row before an official launch. If anyone is actually reading this blog, then it's because you stumbled upon it...we've sent no links to this site as of yet. Consider this a "beta" if you will.

Tha real deal is comin' soon.

Stay tuned....

Memorial Day Suggestion Spectacular!

Memorial Day is coming up on Monday, so I have some suggestions on what to do to remember soldiers who have fought while you're sitting at home, not having to work:

1. Sit down, read a book, and drink lemonade on your back patio. 

No patio? Then I suggest standing, looking at porn, and drinking beer in your living room.

2. Play a game, keep your mind from turning to mush.  I suggest the game where you write out all of the states in the country and their respective capitals, and see if you can get all of them.

Can't get all of them? Then either cheat by looking them up online or in an Atlas, or give up, and repeat the second half of idea #1. Or, you can always do what I do, and play against a little kid, and tell them there answers are wrong, and your answer "McGillicutty" for the capital of Vermont is correct, not "Montpelier", according to my dad (thanks dad).

3. Write a song/short story/poem.

Don't like writing? Great! Instead, grab a pair of house scissors, and give yourself a haircut! Halfway through, grab the scissors with your non-dominant hand, and get to snippin'. The more interesting the haircut, the more your friends will look at you, and who doesn't like attention?

4. Go to a restaurant you've never been to before. Maybe you haven't eaten Lebanese, maybe you're too scared of eating sushi for the first time, or maybe you think that thai noodles will make you have diarrhea for the rest of the night. Whatever your reason for never eating anywhere different, ignore it!

Hate change? Then as an alternative, make your most favorite meal, but make it BLINDFOLDED! You'll never be more pleased than you've ever been when it's time to eat. Boiling water, chopping vegetables, and taste-checking your food while trying to avoid 3rd-degree burns and deep, self-inflicted gashes has never been so invigorating!

5. See a movie you know no one would want to see with you. There are plenty of new movies out there, and if you never get a chance to see this movie because your friends or wife/husband don't like the genre, then seize the day and go see it yourself.

Scared of the dark? Then I suggest rather than braving the frightening low-lit abyss that is the movie theater, you instead watch old home-movies of your childhood with all the lights on. That way, you can look back at the times you stood alone, playing in the dirt at the soccer field, or the time you taped yourself dancing to the Footloose soundtrack in your basement, and you can eliminate any worries you have of a "boogeyman uprising", like your brother used to tell you and has now ruined your ability to be in places where you can't see anything, even when you threw a pillow in there and you still can't see it.

6. Take a Foreign Language Lesson. Become a more diverse person, and if you ever travel anywhere you can communicate with the locals.

Hate traveling? Well, you sound like my dad, and I can accept that. Love you, dad!

7. Tell your dad you love him. He may appreciate it.

Fighting with your dad? Then show him who's boss by taking your mom out for a nice lunch at his favorite restaurant, even though your mother is really racist, even in public, and constantly tells you how anyone who's not white is out to get her.

8. Finish up that housework you have been putting off for months. Those gutters won't clean themselves.

Don't necessarily "need" to? Then what you can do is climb up your ladder/plug in your hedge trimmer/start the lawnmower, then right when you get ready to start jump off the ladder and say you "landed awkwardly" and tweaked your bad back/say the outlet or extension cord isn't working/say the "frammets" on the lawnmower are "out of whack". Problem solved.

9. Finally put together that playlist on your iTunes library you've been "downloading songs for" since you bought your computer 3 years ago.

Forgot how? Well, not to worry, my friend. As opposed to making a playlist you can take your songs you've downloaded, put in a CD, burn those songs you wanted in your playlist onto your CD, then take that finished CD with all the songs you wanted on it, then you can take that CD, and play those songs in your CD player. If this were 1998 and people still owned CD players.

-RRM

Not Lazy, just Canadian

Ok, I'm not Canadian. But it would be awesome if I were.

Speaking of Canada, I actually visited there in over New Years Eve this year, and it was reallyfun.

Skiing, snowboarding, drinking, and relaxing in a snow village was great.

No point whatsoever to this post.

-RRM

Since McAfee is a Lazy Ass...

Must be Vegas folk count 1 week as a day, or he's still in a drunken weekend stupor (Ryan believes Thur-Tue is the weekend).

Anyway, we've been trying to avoid talking about politics for a pantheon of reasons, not the least of which are the following factoids... 

Barack Obama is a Whiny Bitch

Hillary Clinton is a Crazy Bitch

John McCain is the Democrats' Bitch

But you need to be entertained, so SNL over the weekend (which has been actually slightly funny the last couple years) helped us out with a categorical trifecta: Politics, Entertainment, & Sports (it's a NBA reference, for those who care ).

May the best loser win....

JLG1th

Florida Baseball, Apparently it Exists After March.

We're now a quarter way into the 135th season of "Modern-Era" baseball (though some things never change).  Though we don't have teams nowadays named things like the "Boston Beaneaters," there are still unjustified peculiarities... like the existence of regular season ball in Florida. 

Let me first say this about that, NO ONE GOES TO THESE GAMES. Do YOU know ANY Marlins or [Devil] Rays fans? I lived in Southwest Florida for a while. I went to a Rays game in Tampa. I got first row 2nd deck seats behind the plate for TWENTY dollars. I could have probably put on a Batman mask and streaked through the second deck and not have had anyone notice...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Then there's the Marlins, who have dubious honor of being the only team to win 2 World Series and not have anyone care. What's even worse is that they sell off their talent after winning because they can't afford the talent because, again, NO ONE GOES TO THEIR GAMES. They became a team in 1992, sucked for 5 years, and then inexplicably won the big one in 1997. Then they ralphed all over the diamond for another 6 years, and, again, said screw you to the laws of nature and won again in 2003 (the famous Steve Bartman episode).

We all thought that putting teams in Florida was a joke, and this season, the joke's on us. Right now, about 40 games in, Both teams are on top of their respective divisions. We expect this every few years from the Marlins, but the Rays were created for the expressed purpose of losing to the Yankees and Red Sox (which they have for almost 10 years now).

There are all types of regionally themed World Series folks would watch: Subway Series, Chicago Series, Bay Area, and maybe even Canadian.

 

A Florida series? It might end up being know as the "broken hip" series because of the excited patrons jumping up to cheer too fast.

With that in mind, I give you a shining example of the faux hubris that is Florida baseball. After the Marlins win in '03, player Juan Pierre decided to make a rap about it, and premiere it at the celebration parade. Enjoy

-JLG1th

Posting just because....

It's right at the time where all the summer blockbusters are starting to come out in theaters, and this year seems to have some great, and some not-so-great movies on the horizon.

With huge movies like Iron Man, Batman, and the Narniads, this is a year of huge movies.

Yes, I know James, you're mad that I called Made of Honor a not-so-great summer movie. But guess what? The world doesn't revolve around you. However, the world may revolve around this guy.

Anyways, back to what I am getting at. Nothing. I am writing to say that I have absolutely nothing to write about.

But instead, I will discuss anything and everything:

Sports: Basketball is in the 9-month long process of the playoffs, and assorted basketball playing athletes are winning and losing games, while some play better than others, and some have breakout games while some don't play up to their potential.

Entertainment: Like I said earlier, great movies are coming out or are already out in theaters. James would like to see Made of Honor, while I would rather see Forgetting Sarah Marshall. 

News: The Las Vegas Sun (the website at which I work) just won an EPpy for "Best newspaper-affiliated Website with Fewer than One Million Unique Monthly Visitors" today. Wow, could they be a little MORE specific, please? That's the news.

Opinion: I think David Blaine sucks.

Lifestyle: Rock and Roll? 

Random Item of the post: This. My little brother's title sequence for his movie. 

Talented fucker.

--RRM

A Fantastic New Obsession

OMFG I have found a new and exciting sub-sub-genre of youtube.com trolling that will leave you breathless and begging for more. It's called...

PRICE IS RIGHT VIDEOS!

Most specifically I want to call attention to the sub-sub-sub-genre of Price Is Right videos pertaining to idiot contestants and Bob Barker's slow slide into angered senility. 

Like a prostate exam, this won't take a lot of your time, but you'll remember it forever....

This guy is a winner...

This is like half the girls I went to school with...

Just fast forward past the first showcase right to the bid...

Just don't EVER be like this, even though Ryan acts like this from time to time...

This reminds me of a hungry hungry hippo...

Had enough? Didn't think so, in a few months I'll post Part 2

-Always Yours,

 JLG1th

Intervention by SBD Moderator "I IS"

"I IS THAT I IS"

WHOA there McAfee, thou thinkest Conservative Republicans cannot "get down," be "raucous," and other such malarkey? May I remind you that your cohort Mr. James is in fact himself from the fringe right-wing conspiracy? He told me himself he enjoyed that feature, and that if he were a Drag Queen, he would call himself "Gerry Curl."

Drag Queens and Duct Tape

My friend Michelle Cassel in Naples, Florida has put together a great documentary centered around two drag queens at a local Naples bar called Snappers. So if you dig dudes in drag (James), then this video is for you. Although this isn't really what we blog about on a daily basis, after watching the video I think it should be out on any and all avenues to the public.
And, what else can I say? Dudes in leather and short skirts is different, and it's great to see a video on something different.

Aside from showing the people of Naples what they're missing out on every Friday and Saturday night, this video is a snapshot of a part of Naples that seems insanely out of place. Amidst the conservative Republican town, there is this loud, raucous club that kicks ass and has high energy performers and patrons just wanting to have a good time.

The video follows Nina D'Nae and Veronica Bond as they prepare for their performances, while they're performing on stage, and shows what goes on in between shows.

The video is done by visual journalist Michelle Cassel, and the story and photos were done by Judy Lutz. It's a really cool video, and I hope it causes a lot of controversy in the wildly conservative town of Naples, Florida.

Here is the full story, with the page design by Fritz Otiker. Enjoy.

-RRM

A ROYAL disaster....

Let's talk about my Kansas City Royals. Not to be confused with the Omaha Royals, the Triple-A minor league team located a few hours north, these Royals are the more diarrhea-ridden bunch.

If hitting home runs were a night out with a girl getting laid, the Royals would be sitting at home watching re-runs of Laverne and Shirley while painting model airplanes.

Seriously, the Royals have 18 home runs as a team. 18. Chase Utley has 13 himself. They are second to last in the American League, ahead of the Minnesota Twins, who, last time I checked, had a kid for an owner.

They counter their lack of hitting prowess with below-average pitching, though. They are 21st in era, and 18th in strikeouts. However, they are 2nd in the league in fewest walks allowed.

This may seem like a good thing, but you can't really walk people who are running around the bases after getting base hits and home runs.

Now to my cohort, the slow-witted, smelly New Yorkian whose claim to fame was being one of the people in this picture: 

Thanks James, you truly are a lovely man.

Go Royals!

"Escape from Topeka"

Just a harrowing reminder of how remarkable it is that Ryan is with us today...

-Fondly, James

"You can't stop what's coming...'

James and Ryan grew up in different worlds, James being from upstate New York, and Ryan being from regular state Kansas.

James went to Syracuse University where he played Ukelele in a Lifehouse cover band, and Ryan went to Kansas State University and struggled to control his mild alcoholism and obsession with Muppet Movies.

Their paths crossed in 2006, when they began working together at the Naples Daily News in Naples, FLORIDA, and began fighting immediately on a bi-weekly basis. As much as they fought, they also grew to respect each other in a way that rivaled a classy hooker and her John.

The two parted ways in 2007, when James moved back to New York to pursue a job near his hometown (by "hometown," " girl" is meant), but never lost sight of his passion for video production, despite being completely whipped. Meanwhile, Ryan remained alone in Naples, a little dead inside (both from a sense of loss, and also Red Tide from the ocean), and eventually moved to Las Vegas to work where he could also drink more recklessly. [editor's note: now that Ryan is in Vegas, he stays in Vegas]

James and Ryan still contact each other bi-weekly, to argue about everything from the world's greatest tap dancer to who would win in an arm wrestling contest between a depressed hobo and a ballerina who is half-Canadian.

"Sounding Bored" is a phenomena almost 2 years in the making. Whilst running hither and yon creating video news and entertainment content, they long desired to create a audio podcast
where they could give the outside world a harrowing glimpse into two lives that make a Fall Out Boy/Sum 41 "concert" seem cool. As fate drew them apart (and audio podcasts became SOOOO 2005),
the idea was shelved for what seemed like good. In fact, the only evidence of the original idea that still exists is an opening theme song which
you can now find on this site.

Then it dawned on James, or Ryan, depending who you ask, "WHY DON'T WE SHARE A BLOG FROM DIFFERENT ENDS OF THE COUNTRY!!!!!!!?!!!!!." Mental labor is birthing this
brain child, and while their creative cervix is still squeezing, we guarantee that soon enough there will be a glorious newborn page to add to your morning routine, as well as a tasty placenta.

"WHAT will they feature?"

Enthralling commentary on almost anything!
They'll talk sports, but you don't need to have 3 subscriptions to college recruiting sites and 7 fantasy teams to keep up with them.
They'll talk entertainment, but you don't need to have TMZ, ET, and TRL [is that still around?] TiVod to catch the vibe.
They'll talk Politics, but you physically pleasuring a sitting president or governor is not a pre-requisite to feel "in" [cough]
Most of all, they'll talk life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness not starring Will Smith [there you have it, first pop-culture ref!]

"AW, a bunch of WORDS?"

No! they'll give you audio, pictures, and even video from time to time!

"MAN, these guys are dumb..."

yes.

"Who is this page for?"

Anyone who hasn't thrown their cute Mini-Mac book out the window yet.

"Wait, isn't this whole "About" section, which is being composed in third person format, just
being typed by Ryan and James themselves? Kind of self serving don't you think..."

NO! My name is I IS, and if the God of Moses was "I am that I am," then I is what I IS.

"So get ON with it already..."

picky, picky....