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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Florida Baseball, Apparently it Exists After March.

We're now a quarter way into the 135th season of "Modern-Era" baseball (though some things never change).  Though we don't have teams nowadays named things like the "Boston Beaneaters," there are still unjustified peculiarities... like the existence of regular season ball in Florida. 

Let me first say this about that, NO ONE GOES TO THESE GAMES. Do YOU know ANY Marlins or [Devil] Rays fans? I lived in Southwest Florida for a while. I went to a Rays game in Tampa. I got first row 2nd deck seats behind the plate for TWENTY dollars. I could have probably put on a Batman mask and streaked through the second deck and not have had anyone notice...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Then there's the Marlins, who have dubious honor of being the only team to win 2 World Series and not have anyone care. What's even worse is that they sell off their talent after winning because they can't afford the talent because, again, NO ONE GOES TO THEIR GAMES. They became a team in 1992, sucked for 5 years, and then inexplicably won the big one in 1997. Then they ralphed all over the diamond for another 6 years, and, again, said screw you to the laws of nature and won again in 2003 (the famous Steve Bartman episode).

We all thought that putting teams in Florida was a joke, and this season, the joke's on us. Right now, about 40 games in, Both teams are on top of their respective divisions. We expect this every few years from the Marlins, but the Rays were created for the expressed purpose of losing to the Yankees and Red Sox (which they have for almost 10 years now).

There are all types of regionally themed World Series folks would watch: Subway Series, Chicago Series, Bay Area, and maybe even Canadian.


A Florida series? It might end up being know as the "broken hip" series because of the excited patrons jumping up to cheer too fast.

With that in mind, I give you a shining example of the faux hubris that is Florida baseball. After the Marlins win in '03, player Juan Pierre decided to make a rap about it, and premiere it at the celebration parade. Enjoy


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