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Thursday, May 8, 2008

A ROYAL disaster....

Let's talk about my Kansas City Royals. Not to be confused with the Omaha Royals, the Triple-A minor league team located a few hours north, these Royals are the more diarrhea-ridden bunch.

If hitting home runs were a night out with a girl getting laid, the Royals would be sitting at home watching re-runs of Laverne and Shirley while painting model airplanes.

Seriously, the Royals have 18 home runs as a team. 18. Chase Utley has 13 himself. They are second to last in the American League, ahead of the Minnesota Twins, who, last time I checked, had a kid for an owner.

They counter their lack of hitting prowess with below-average pitching, though. They are 21st in era, and 18th in strikeouts. However, they are 2nd in the league in fewest walks allowed.

This may seem like a good thing, but you can't really walk people who are running around the bases after getting base hits and home runs.

Now to my cohort, the slow-witted, smelly New Yorkian whose claim to fame was being one of the people in this picture: 

Thanks James, you truly are a lovely man.

Go Royals!

1 comment:

lackofintellect said...

Your cohort is one of the ones wearing a tank top, eh?

Lay of the Twins, lest I remind you that they are currently in the lead of the Amazing American League Central.

P.S. you guys should look into adding a feedburner email subscription box to your page, it's a handy way to push your content into my inbox. Hell you might even get a girl or two to mistakenly sign up for it.