If hitting home runs were a night out with a girl getting laid, the Royals would be sitting at home watching re-runs of Laverne and Shirley while painting model airplanes.
Seriously, the Royals have 18 home runs as a team. 18. Chase Utley has 13 himself. They are second to last in the American League, ahead of the Minnesota Twins, who, last time I checked, had a kid for an owner.
They counter their lack of hitting prowess with below-average pitching, though. They are 21st in era, and 18th in strikeouts. However, they are 2nd in the league in fewest walks allowed.
This may seem like a good thing, but you can't really walk people who are running around the bases after getting base hits and home runs.
Now to my cohort, the slow-witted, smelly New Yorkian whose claim to fame was being one of the people in this picture:
Thanks James, you truly are a lovely man.